What is a Narcissist? Am I One?
Updated: Oct 30, 2020
From trending TikToks to Buzzfeed quizzes, to even popular tv-show character analysis, we have seen SO many people talk about someone they know, or have encountered, as being a narcissist. If you’re wondering what narcissism really is, you're not alone. Let’s break down what narcissism looks like and how you can spot it in yourself and others.
According to Britannica, narcissism is characterized by an inflated self-image and addiction to fantasy, by an unusual coolness and composure, shaken only when the narcissistic confidence is threatened. So basically someone who is self-absorbed and more like the Supreme Leader of Arrogance 2.0.
Everyone has a tiny little narcissist in them, as it is very common for children to portray this type of behavior, but research states that if it goes past puberty it is considered a disorder. So, let's cut to the chase and see if you have these five traits of narcissism. Of course, consult a professional before ultimate self-diagnosis, but we promise these symptoms do not lead to death.
Sense Of Entitlement
It's your birthday, you can cry if you want to! However, if you see no limits here, this could be a sign of narcissism. Now, there is nothing wrong with feeling entitled to the things that you are indeed entitled to, but if you start believing that the people around you should automatically grant your every wish and command, it's safe to say this is a trait of narcissism.
For narcissists, if someone can’t do that very thing they need, when they want it and how they want it, that person is completely useless to them. Oh, and heaven forbid that person asks for something in return. With the amount of outrage and cold-shoulder a narcissist would give, they would be crowned the new Elsa!
Needs Constant Praise and Admiration
Oh please, please someone feed my frail but huge ego!
The redundant compliments are just never enough for a narcissist. They have to have their dose of daily affirmation, and we are talking an overdose on those affirmations. This person will surround themselves with people who will feed them with all the praise and admiration for their daily crave. If someone were to stop or diminish their daily dose of praise, a narcissist will consider this a betrayal.
Exploit Others Without Guilt or Shame
As a narcissist, you just don't get it. When it comes to others, you never really grasp their concepts or identify with their emotions. You will never put yourself in someone else's shoes meaning you lack empathy. Taking advantage of others for gain is like clockwork to a narcissist. Think twice about that? You would never! Your behavior and how it affects others is just simply not on your radar. Even if someone were to point it out to you, you still would not care, nor will you understand.
Envy, Envy, and Envy
That little green monster just comes out of hiding when you come across someone who has something you lack. Man oh man, don't let them have more of a status than you or even be more confident than you, because that will drive you crazy.
If people don’t care to look your way or cater to your needs, you feel threatened as a narcissist. The only way you can redeem your throne is by putting that person down. Depending on the situation, you can either hit the person with the oh so subtle patronization or a dismissive attitude. If you’re feeling spicy, you’ll attack with insults by name-calling, bullying, and threats to put that person back in line.
Grandiose of Self-Importance
Under self-arrogance and self-vanity grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. As a narcissist, you are so unique that people can’t understand you because you know you are that special. You are too good for anything plain jane or average. You only want to associate yourself with high-status people, things, and places. You believe you are better than everyone else, and expect your recognition, even when you have done nothing to earn it.
You often lie and exaggerate your achievements and accolades. When you talk about work, personal life, or even relationships, it all revolves around you. It will consist of how amazing you are, how you give so much, and how lucky people are to even have you in their life. In other words, you are the star, and everyone else is an extra. Notice how we did not even mention supporting actors and actresses because please, that is way too close to your pedestal.
So what's the result? It's okay if you are one. As amazing as you are, there is always room for improvement. Noticing these characteristics and understanding them can help you grow into a healthy relationship with understanding yourself in relation to narcissism. This can also be a tremendous help in the relationship with yourself and others around you. It is in fact possible to be this awesome and be a kind and caring person, too.
If you noticed any of these traits in some of your friends and family, pass this article on! We can all relate and learn a thing or two about our narcissistic tendencies.