5 Books To Read When You're Single
Updated: Sep 21, 2020
The holiday season as a single person can seem like a lonely road to navigate. Trying to embrace your single status can be hard, especially with constant advice from television, family, podcasts and more. Your first instinct certainly might not be to sit down and crack open a book. We're changing the narrative though. Rather than seeing being single as a lonely road, it's the perfect time to discover what you want. We're giving you the must-have reading list for every single person (and for our friends that have found someone too) to help you enjoy everything you can during this time.
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
This book uses the power of science and psychology to explain why some of us seem to easily navigate through relationships, and why for some of us, it’s more of a struggle. Psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller look at the science behind adult attachment styles, and how we tend to fall under one of three styles - avoidant, anxious and secure. You take a quiz at the beginning to identify your style (it’s crazy how accurate it is) and then it delves deeper into what your style means, and how to build stronger relationships from that. This book is an easy read; it touches enough for you to learn something but it’s not so intense that you feel like you’re reading a textbook. It’s thought-provoking without you feeling lost by any jargon, and reveals, not only how your style in romantic relationships, but also patterns you might have with friends, family and, work.
How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don't by Lane Moore
A little jarring, a little funny and a lot relatable, How to Be Alone is a personal letter to those of us who desperately want to be liked and loved, and attach ourselves too easily to anyone who shows it. As the former sex and relationship editor of Cosmopolitan, Moore is honest, sometimes painfully so, but that honesty is necessarily refreshing. You walk away from this book feeling less alone but knowing that it's totally okay to have moments when you do feel that way. It’s not a self-help book, it's a self-aware book. It’s a story of growth and progress, and that they don't always come wrapped up with a tidy bow as we might hope. The book reads like a conversation, and it’s a needed one.
The 5 Love Languages Singles Edition: The Secret That Will Revolutionize Your Relationships by Gary Chapman
The 5 Love Languages is the original bestselling book that changed the way we have looked at relationships and what we need in a partner. With The 5 Love Languages Singles Edition, author Gary Chapman looks beyond just how these love languages affect us with romantic partnerships, but also with family and friends. Chapman recognizes the five things that people need to be satisfied in a relationship - physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, meaningful gifts and quality time. After taking the quiz, which ranks what order your love languages fall in, the book explores how to better connect and express yourself in relationships, keeping these attributes in mind. Written in 2017, the book even delves a little bit into how this translates into the world of online dating (we gave you a rank of the best apps to find love on here). This book is a great start to finding out why your past relationships may not have been compatible, and what you need in order to make your next one successful.
The Love Gap: A Radical Plan to Win in Life and Love by Jenna Birch
The Wall Street Journal recently did an article over how, yes, it is true - good men are getting even harder to find. The Love Gap goes more in-depth on this, using extensive research on why so many women are being fulfilled in their careers and lives, but coming up empty in relationships. The book does a good job of exploring the changes in gender dynamics as we have been seeing in recent years, the modern challenges we face through the world of apps and hookup culture, but also, how we don’t ever have to settle. We can have our cake and eat it too.
The Astrology of You and Me: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life by Gary Goldschneider
It wouldn’t be a reading list without throwing in a book centered around the number one dating question - what’s your sign? The Astrology of You and Me acts as a guide to navigating the interpersonal relationships we deal with day-to-day - from work, to love, to family, to friends. Each chapter is arranged by astrological sign (and beautifully illustrated to boot), giving you advice for every possible star-crossed relationship you could have. It helps to know the full chart of someone before you go diving in, as this book is more of an overview than an in-depth analysis. Nonetheless, it still makes for an insightful, and delightful, read.
As with any recommendation, we say to take these books with a grain of salt. Each one has advice that may work, and some that may not. This is the perfect time to explore it all though. Take being single as an opportunity to tune in to what you want out of life - and also, the things you don't. Happy reading.