Embracing Your Singleness This Holiday Season
We could have written just another blog about what couples can do this holiday season, all the cute date nights for the winter, or how to get closer to your significant other this year. But one thing society fails to focus on is how beautiful and impactful it is to be single, especially during the time of year when you are always expected to have “someone” to spend it with.
What if this year, YOU were that someone?
If your life is an endless series of the movie Holidate’s opening scene, this read will be a breath of fresh air. To all our singles, we hear you and we got you. Here is how you can embrace your singleness for the holidays, and for however long you want!
Take Yourself Out
This is not just for couples, the holidays are the perfect time to take yourself out because there are so many date night opportunities. You can take yourself on a ride through local Christmas light spots, reserve yourself a nice dinner at your favorite restaurant, or even book yourself a room at a nice hotel you’ve been eyeing. It can even be as low key as having a game night with yourself or sitting at a cool coffee shop to people watch.
You may be wondering, “why would I do that?” or “that seems a little embarrassing...”, but think about it like this, you are the only person you have for life. If you can’t treat yourself nicely or truly spend time with yourself once in a while, how would anyone else know to meet that standard? From proper alone time, you can discover new things about yourself, find new and old interests, and even learn how to make yourself laugh. It can also be extremely empowering and help you feel confident about your situation.
Make New Friends and Hang Out With Old Ones
This is what friends are for! If you’re not ready to jump into a solo date night, go to some fun holiday festivities with your friends. This can help you to feel less alone and take away the pressure of having a special someone next to you.
If you need some reassurance, hit up your confident single friends or even old friends from your town. They may have some tips on how they navigate single life and may make you feel less alone. However, it is nothing to feel down about. Being single is a gift, and at times when you’re in a relationship, you may look back on and miss. Talking to your friends in a relationship about the reality of it may even make you feel extra grateful for taking on life by yourself.
Tell People You’re In a Relationship With Yourself
I know, it may sound weird, but people will respect it. If you’re truly seeking singleness and aren’t looking to date around, this is a good move. When it’s time to see the relatives again or have family dinner, and a loved one asks you about your relationship status, simply say you’re pursuing a relationship with yourself at the moment.
If it doesn’t get them to stop prying, it would at least get them to pause for a moment to think about what that really means. If they don’t understand, hit them with “I’m my first priority right now and I’m happy with that.” As queen Ari once said, “But this one gon’ last, ‘cause her name is Ari, and I’m so good with that”.
Practice Your Love Language on Yourself
Practicing your love language can be a life-changer! Love languages are always talked about in the context of practicing it for another person. But what about you? If you’re unsure what your love language is, first off, find out how you feel loved.
Whether you feel the most loved from gifts, words of affirmation, or even physical touch, you can practice that on yourself! If you love it when friends give you your favorite items, get yourself something nice. If you love to hear kind words after completing a big task, look in the mirror, and praise yourself after doing something challenging. If you love a big hug after a long day…hug yourself. It’s amazing how nurturing yourself can help you feel protected, confident, and loved.
Reflect on Your Life & Goals
As Christmas rolls around and then new year’s, naturally you’ll begin to ponder on your life from the past, the present, and what's in store for the future. Going through a reflective and goals related exercise helps to really put things in perspective about the bigger picture.
Think about where you want to be in terms of your career, friendships, family, and personal hobbies. Does a relationship fit into that? Now ask yourself, if it does, what would it have to look like to fit and enhance your current situation or plan. If you envision it hindering your goals and passions, it may not be as necessary as people make it out to be. Once you acknowledge that the discomfort of societal pressures to be in a relationship may not match up with your reality, you may start to feel more comfortable with your decisions or relationship status.
Be Firm on Your Standards for Potential Partners
Now, to address the elephant in the room, what if you have a potential partner who comes your way and you want to explore what’s there? You can still do this and embrace your singleness! You just need to ask yourself one question: does this person fit in or enhance the life you envision for yourself (from your goals exercise)?
It may take some time to tell, but it’s possible to date people, explore, and still hold yourself as the first priority. Continue to practice all the things listed above, because your relationship with yourself is life-long!
At the end of the day, relationships or singleness don’t guarantee a life free of problems and happiness, YOU do. Start one by one and incorporate activities into your life that help you feel fearless and alive!
Are you feeling a little more confident about being single? If so, let us know in the comments how you plan to embrace your singleness this season.